


Coffee Isn't Evil (Unless It's Black)

by TheManWithAPurpleTopHat



Series: Villains are Better Lovers than Heroes [2]
Category: Villainous (Cartoon)
Genre: Coffee, Fluff, I'm Doing My Best Y'all, Kinda OOC Villains, Lazy Mornings, Multi, Sleepy Villains
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-02-07
Packaged: 2019-10-23 23:00:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17692787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheManWithAPurpleTopHat/pseuds/TheManWithAPurpleTopHat
Summary: After the chaos of the sleepover, there's a cold morning that feels like the most peaceful morning of Demencia's life.





	Coffee Isn't Evil (Unless It's Black)

**Author's Note:**

> WOW this took longer than I thought it would to finish! I'm posting this at like 7 am so let's say that's what time the story takes place in.
> 
>  
> 
> ...Hey also what is sleep?

It was the cold that woke Demencia up. Blinking away the remnants of sleep, she looked around to see that she was still curled up on the dying room floor, the blanket tucked snuggly around her. She was practically on top of Flug, and stifled a giggle when she realized the cold she'd felt on her cheek was from a large, sticky spot of drool that soaked his shoulder. He was gonna freak when he woke up. At least the bag was dry.

The bag…

Her eyes widened in realization. She could take the bag off right now if she wanted to. Flug was fast asleep, and wouldn't be able to stop her before it was off and she could finally get a look at what was underneath. Her fingers traced the bottom edge, careful not to let the paper bend and make a sound. If she tilted her head right, she could look up into the paper and just see part of the bottom of his chin.

Biting her bottom lip, Demencia shook her head and pulled her hand back. This felt wrong. Sure, she was evil, but… hey, Flug was a villain too. Villains have to respect each other, right? Flug-bug was sensitive about his bag, and it wasn’t fair to rip it off while he was sleeping, looking so peaceful and maybe just a little cute.

Stretching and shaking herself like a dog as it wakes up, Demencia stood and adjusted the blanket around the scientist. He didn’t stir, only muttering something about rays and devices. The lizard-woman stuck her tongue out at him before turning and making her way out of the dying room. However, a faint noise made her pause and turn around. It took every ounce of self control she had not to squeal.

Curled up in his armchair, Black Hat was fast asleep. He was dressed in fine silk pajamas, and a nightcap replaced his top hat. His monocle was gone as well, and a black eye patch covered his eye instead. There was a black slipper on one of his feet, but the other had fallen off to expose what looked like a dragon’s talon. He had three clawed toes at the end of his foot, with a smaller claw closer to his heel. Demencia wondered how the shiny black talons would look with nail polish on them.

As she watched him, she realized the eldritch being was shivering slightly. It _was_ rather cold this morning, especially for people like Demencia. Was Black Hat cold blooded too? It would be wonderful if they had something in common like that. But for whatever reason, her amorcito was obviously cold. Flug was still using their blanket, so she quietly scampered off to her room and grabbed the neon quilt from her bed. It had been a present from 5.0.5, and was the softest and warmest- and most colorful- thing in the mansion.

Demencia carefully wrapped the blanket around Black Hat, her hands practically shaking in excitement. She’d never been this close to him for this long before, not without him shouting or shoving her away. He looked so calm now. He was frowning, but didn’t look unhappy. He made a noise that sounded like a cross between a growl and a snore as he latched onto her blanket, turning so his back was facing her. How he managed not to fall out of the chair was beyond her.

“So ya joined our sleepover after all,” she whispered with a soft giggle. Her face lit up as she got an idea, and she blew a kiss to Black Hat before quickly tip toeing out of the room again, this time heading towards the kitchen.

It didn't take long for Demencia to find some clean mugs- dishes were like clothes, right? Fine to use again as long as they don't smell weird. She was pretty sure that sounded right. She rinsed them out, just to be safe, then filled them with plenty of water.

One of the few mechanical devices she could touch without blowing it up was the microwave. However, it was rather boring waiting for the water to heat up all the way. In an effort to pass the time, she looked through the various containers of instant coffee in one of the cabinets.

“Hmm… dark roast sounds evil enough,” she mused out loud, “But how does Black Hat take his coffee?”

“Isn't it obvious?”

The lizard-woman turned with a delighted gasp, beaming at the dark man looming in the open doorway.

“Morning, Blacky!~”

“Are you responsible for the eye-sore I woke up trapped under?”

“You mean my blanket? Well, you looked cold.”

Black Hat rolled his eye as a black tendril of smoke tossed the blanket at her. She noted that he took the time to fold it.

By the time she put her blanket back in her room and returned to the kitchen, Black Hat was sitting at the kitchen table, casually looking over a newspaper. Again, Demencia was mesmerised by how calm and natural he looked sitting there.

“Your water is on the counter,” he said without looking up.

“Don't you wanna asked me what I'm doing?”

“No. Because you want me to ask. And it doesn't matter what I say, you're going to tell me anyway.”

“Well, it's so cold this morning and since I was the first one to wake up, I decided to make us all hot coffee. How do you like yours?”

The eldritch being flashed a menacing grin, still not taking his gaze off the paper. “Black, bitter, and cold. **Like my** **_soul_ **.”

“Aw, I heated the water up for no reason then. Wait you have a soul?”

At this the eldritch grumbled indistinctly, turning the page of his newspaper as deliberately as he could. Demencia shrugged, dumping the hot water out of one mug and refilling it with cold. She then added a few large spoonfuls of instant coffee and stirred until it looked right, placing the finished product on the table with pride.

“One “soul coffee” made special by me for you, Blacky.”

Black Hat eyed the mug placed before him, glancing at Demencia before slowly reaching out and accepting the offering. He didn't say anything, but the woman chose to interpret that to mean he definitely didn't dislike it enough to complain. One victory achieved!

“Now, how does Flug-bug like his coffee?” She studied the mug of water still steaming on the counter with a serious grimace, rubbing her chin in thought. The answer came almost instantly, but not in her head.

“Two tablespoons instant dark roast with one tablespoon sugar and a small dash of milk for texture.”

When he felt Demencia staring at him, Black Hat glared indignantly. “What? Am I not allowed to read without being gawked at, woman?!”

“Sorry sweetie, it's just-”

“ **What did you just call me?!** ”

“-just that that's an oddly specific thing to know about an employee. Like you wouldn't know unless you made an effort to remember it.”

At this, Black Hat sank further into his chair like a snake coiling deeper into a dark corner. “I know everything about everyone, woman. None of you are special. Are you making Dr. Flug his coffee or are you just going to stand there?”

The scientist in question shuffled into the kitchen just as Demencia finished making the hot drink exactly to Black Hat's specifications.

“Do I smell coffee?”

“Of course you do, Dr. When it comes to coffee your sense of smell may be the only thing above average about you.”

Dr. Flug sighed as he took the mug Demencia held out to him, muttering a “gracias” before taking a sip. He certainly showed a more positive reaction than Black Hat did, eagerly taking a large gulps through the straw Demencia was thoughtful enough to provide.

“Now to make my own!” Demencia exclaimed, much to the horror of the two men.

“You will drink decaf and that is an order, Demencia!”

Flug shuddered upon hearing the “D-word,” but agreed with his boss. There were still some dents in the walls from the first and last time his creation got her hands on caffeine. The woman shrugged before happily pouring unholy amounts of sugar and milk into a mug. Mother of evil, were those rainbow sprinkles? This was worse than watching that scary movie.

Once she was finished making her coffee, Demencia took a seat between Flug and Black Hat. The room had fallen into one of those peaceful silences that were so rare in the manor. It was almost surreal, having coffee with Blacky and Flug-bug like they were… well, Demencia wasn't exactly sure what it was like, but it felt kind of nice.

Perhaps she should make coffee for them every morning.

**Author's Note:**

> I think the characters are a bit more OOC than they were in the last story. I will attempt to do better next time.


End file.
